The balance board began today’s Wii Fit session with a strangely formatted bit of advice. An ill omen?
Thanks balance board, but I live in San Francisco where it is neither warm nor cold. It is, at all times, a tepid grey purgatory, just the way I likes it. I’m sure I’ve got nothing to worry [...]
A wise man once said no g-news is good g-news, unless it’s gary gnus. In keeping with that gentle spirit, there is no news to report on the weight front. Since it’s the exact same as yesterday, I feel like the balance board should reward me. It’s usually so pleased when things remain perfectly still.
Despite [...]
I know we’ve already done the before picture. But since we’re rebooting it seemed like a good idea to start off with a new one.
I think the “t-shirt tucked into cut-off dress slacks swaddling 30 pounds of spare meat” look is going to catch on. This image is my first salvo in a campaign against [...]
Weekly Weigh-Ins
Over the last two weeks my weight has formed something that looks a bit like a letter “W” written by a dying man.
I can’t really explain the wild dips. It may be that I’m not weighing myself at the same time every day (I’m not), or it may be that sometimes I weigh myself [...]
Bang Bang! Two shots rang out as the butler scrambled over the upturned end tables toward the maid’s cupboard. Her corset torn on the nail of the false crucifix, a crimson trickle of blood wended its way between her alabaster bosoms, braving the dark crevasse. “Calgon, take me away!” She cried into the night. Before [...]
Howdy pardners! Today we’re gonna rustle up some measurements! Yeehaw. So getcher graduated cylinders and yer plumbobs and lets round up them significant figures. Whoooo Doggy!
Height
Time to drop the cow poke affectation and get down to business.
Height: 68″
First off, how is it that nobody has ever told me I’m kind of short? 5′8″? I’m not [...]
It’s about time for some hot photo action. Let’s call this the “before” picture. You’ve got to have one, right. After snapping these, I noticed that the bloatation of my belly sort of resembles a pregnancy bump. For this reason I will be thinking of my stomach not as swollen with fat and guts, but [...]