Day One: Recap – Chocolate Vampire in Disguise

On this first of days I feasted on some real treats including a trip to the local Burger King, and polishing off a bag of Chocolate Marshmallow Mateys – a cereal without a single nautical component to link it back to its name.

So Delicious! So Healthy! Wait... oh. So Delicious!

So Delicious! So Healthy! Wait... oh. So Delicious!

Let me tell you a thing or two about Chocolate Marshmallow Mateys. This confection tastes just like Count Chocula, and yet does not resemble it one bit. You would be forgiven for thinking it would taste like Cocoa Puffs and Lucky Charms, since it looks just like Cocoa Puffs with some Lucky Charms marshmallows. Further obscuring the delicious truth is the term “Mateys”, which suggests some connection to Cap’n Crunch. Yet there isn’t a trace of the Cap’n to be found in the entire bag. As if that sea-faring red herring weren’t enough to confuse the issue, the bag prominently features a blue kangaroo with a badittude that looks something like the love child of Poochie and Sonic the Hedgehog. I guess the X-treme kangaroo (Cool Blue) is a mom, since there is a little joey (L’il Oaty) emerging from her womb endorsing the product. Creating life to shill for cereal and looking cool while doing it – Now that’s real girl power!

It is a good idea to launder your Mateys before eating.

It is a good idea to launder your Mateys before eating.

Here are the raw facts of the day for your bemusement:

Nutrition Facts

Total Calories: 3152
Calories from Fat: 1448.5
Fat: 165.42g
Carbohydrates: 392.92
Fiber: 24.5
Protein: 112.69

Activity Level: Low

Walking: 1.6 miles (easy)
Housekeeping: 4 hours (easy)

Foods Devoured

Marshmallow Mateys
West Soy Plus Vanilla
BK – Tendercrisp Sandwich
BK – Fries (medium)
BK – Diet Coke (medium)
Wheat Saltines
Chicken Mole
Spanish Rice
Vanilla Yogurt with Chocolate Chunks
Marshmallow Mateys

Almost half the calories that I gobbled up today came from fat! I think that’s probably too much. Who can say? It’s a complete mystery.

The only real exercise today came from walking to burger king (how self-defeating!) and rearranging some furniture. You see, we’re rennovating our apartment to make it habitable for both humans and rats. This has taken more work than initially anticipated, so it looks like I’ll be shuffling stuff around sometime this week.